Isaac would have hated that I shared this picture, but I came across it when I was search for photos of Gabe to print. This was a postcard that Isaac received after he was accepted at NDSU. Ultimately he decided to attend elsewhere after he graduated, but this may have been one of his first acceptance cards. It was a BIG deal to me, but he was always a goof and rarely wanted his picture taken so when I begged him to let me memorialize the moment, he “posed” for me. Somehow my old phone uploaded this to my Amazon account…it is the only reason I have it today.

It made me both smile and cry today. My beautiful, goofy boy. He was all this and more. Silly and funny brought joy to our family. He is just so missed. I shared a few thoughts on Facebook this morning and thought I would save them here too. If nothing for my own memory of how things are now.

18 months and the 21st is still a hard day. Prime Day was something we enjoyed together. We would text about the deals, talk about possible Christmas ideas. Isaac was fun like that. I have wanted to text him a lot recently. So much to tell him.

Gabe’s senior pictures are tonight. It feels like this final year is going to hit us and happen fast. I remember going with Isaac to his senior pictures. He tolerated them just like Gabe will…for their mom. But it is another reminder of how much is changing and also how much we have lost.

There are some heavy, hard things happening in our family (close and extended) that I am not going to get into right now but I would so appreciate prayers. God knows all the details. All the things that seem like too much.

I was reminded again this week that we don’t grieve without hope. And while we walk through trials in this life we don’t have to like them but we can (and should) trust God with them.

So that is what we do. We celebrate the things we can, we grieve in places we need and we trust God with both and everything in between.