8,434 days. That is how
many days we had with our boy here on earth. Not every day was perfect, I made
a lot of mistakes as his mom. And since he was older and had moved out on his
own there were many days we didn’t see or hear from him in the last 4 years.
But every day we prayed for him, and while I am still so sad and in shock that
this happened, I praise God for each day we had.
I would have loved
to text him about this big storm that is upon us for the weekend. I would ask
if his work was still open and tell him to drive carefully. He would respond
back that his truck could handle just about anything.
The past two days I felt a bit of reprieve from the
overwhelming grief. There wasn’t joy necessarily, but also not a constant
fighting back of the tears. I was so grateful for that.
This morning I woke up after having a dream where
for just a moment, he was there. I wanted to go back to sleep to see him and
hear him again. It was the first time since this happened that I have even
remembered dreaming.
He was dancing, which was funny because if you knew
Isaac, dancing wasn’t his thing. But he was being goofy and dancing. Big smile
and full of joy. I have to believe he is full of joy and dancing now in the
presence of God.