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I had done pretty good until this morning. And then November 18th slaps me in the face. I have so so much to remember and be grateful for. Isaac was an incredible son. Celebrating his 26th birthday without him is wrong. It will always be wrong. But I was asked by a dear friend this morning to share a birthday memory I had of him and after sharing with her I thought I would share it here as well.

When Isaac was about 7 or 8 I let him have his first big party at our house. We had a tiny little starter home but I told him that he needed to invite all the boys in his grade (it was about 15). He asked if he HAD to…there were a few boys that at the time weren’t super nice to him. I told him yes, it was important to include everyone and said it was possible those boys might not attend anyways.

One of the boys that did come was someone Isaac wasn’t necessarily good friends with at the time. He was maybe a little “nerdy”….I can say that because I was totally nerdy myself growing up. Anyways at the end of the party his mom came to pick him up and she told me that her son was SO excited to be invited to Isaac’s party. He had never been invited to a party before. Apparently, he was so excited that he put on his best church clothes and slept in them the night before the party so there was no chance he would oversleep and miss it. To this day, almost 20 years later I can remember where I was standing when she told me that. It makes me cry thinking about it.

I later told Isaac what she had said, and we used it as a reminder that kindness is so important. Isaac was that guy his whole life. After he died we learned that he was the one that would write notes to his co-workers just to cheer them up. Draw little pictures to make them laugh (he was no artist)…he knew the value of being kind. I am so proud of the man he was. He wasn’t perfect, he made lots of mistakes (we all do) but he was kind, and he had a gentle spirit.

Today I grieve that I can’t text him a cheesy gif and birthday greeting. 3 years gone and the missing isn’t any less. If you think about it, do something kind for someone today in honor of Isaac. A goofy note, a cup of coffee for a friend…he would have liked that.

Happy Birthday son. Until my last breath I will wish it were different for our family. You are deeply, deeply missed.