I feel like I should have some deeply profound words for today, but the reality is I just feel empty. It has been 9 months. 9 months ago at this time I was preparing to go to a performance of the Nutcracker with my girl and some friends. I sat in the auditorium blissfully unaware…
Author: kasmith03
Redemption and the Darkest Hour
I came across an old email that I sent Isaac in April of 2018. He was angry with us and I was trying to share my heart. I told him that even though he didn’t want to admit it, he and I were a lot alike. At the time I had been asked to write…
Life Lately
Today has been cloudy and drizzly. One of those dreary mornings where, if I was able, I would crawl back into bed and stay there. It has been a few weeks of hard decisions and quite honestly a lot of worry. School (for us) starts in basically 4 weeks. But because of Covid, we have…
Scar Mountain
In late June our family traveled to Colorado for a week away. For the longest time I struggled with the question of if we should even go or not. Over a year ago we found and paid for our rental home for this trip. At that time we could have never imagined that we would…
Happy Father’s Day
Dominic, It almost feels like a bit of a cruel joke that Father’s Day is falling on the 6 month anniversary of Isaac’s death. But I wanted to take a minute and speak to you – my husband, the father of all of amazing kids on this special day that honors dads. I know that…
For Better or Worse
Today is our 24th wedding anniversary. It is no secret that when we got married I was 4 months pregnant with Isaac. It was the anticipation of our son, his life and our commitment to raise him together, that initially brought Dominic and I together in marriage. We had no idea what we were doing….
The Reckless Love of God
I woke up this morning and instantly felt sad. It wasn’t time for me to get up so I tried to just pray for a time to see if I might be able to fall back asleep but sleep eluded me. It is in moments like these that I will pray the same thing. “Lord…
To My Son After 5 Months…
Oh Isaac, This is never a letter a mom wants to write. One that her son will never see or read. Maybe it is silly me doing this, but man I miss you son. There are moments where it feels like a lifetime since we last spoke and then other moments that it still feels…
Even If, Even When
Last year right around this time we held a Tacos and Testimonies event at our church as a women’s event. Several of us shared pieces of our story. I spoke and shared of the transformation we had seen in our relationship with Isaac. How God had moved and restored some deep hurts. I shared this…
Giving and Receiving Comfort
A few days ago we got a call that we weren’t expecting. A local mom that we knew had lost her son…he was just 2 years older than Isaac. It was unexpected and tragic and our hearts grieved with the family. We had been in touch with this sweet mama and wanted to stop by…