Bearing the Weight of Grief

Bearing the Weight of Grief

2 years ago and maybe one of the last pictures of all 4 of you together. Gosh I miss you loads Isaac. It feels like so much life keeps happening that I want to talk to you about. Gabe is looking at colleges and seriously considering School of Mines. Man, I wish you...
A Picture of God’s Promises

A Picture of God’s Promises

2 years ago we were on a family vacation in Wisconsin and Isaac was with us. That seems like a lifetime ago. But I remember it like it was yesterday too. We were supposed to go to the Black Hills, but he asked if we could go to this area instead. It ended up being a...
18 months

18 months

Isaac would have hated that I shared this picture, but I came across it when I was search for photos of Gabe to print. This was a postcard that Isaac received after he was accepted at NDSU. Ultimately he decided to attend elsewhere after he graduated, but this may...
When the Fog Lifts

When the Fog Lifts

I drove by the funeral home today and there is a beautiful, blooming (maybe crabapple) tree in the front yard. The funeral home is at the end of a street that I drive on every day. For months after Isaac died my breath would catch in my throat when I would see that...
Honoring God

Honoring God

This verse got me thinking this morning. What does it really mean for me to honor God, especially in suffering, in grief? In 16 months I have had a lot of questions, a lot of moments where I cried out to God asking Him “why”. But I have done so with the...
Close to the Brokenhearted

Close to the Brokenhearted

In the early days after Isaac died I didn’t know what to pray. A friend gave me a small book filled with short devotions and a passage from Psalms. Each morning as my prayer I would write out the verses for the day. It was all I could do. If you don’t know...

Consider it Joy

It is a tough pill to swallow, the idea that we should count our trials as joy. Is that my first response? I remember studying that scripture along with the book of Job before Isaac died and asking IF I were faced with a trial like Job would I seriously have a...
Only You

Only You

I cleaned my house for hours yesterday. Yes my house was dirty but this was like washing down cabinets/walls kind of cleaning. Today after church and lunch I went outside and started raking up some of the dead leaves in our yard. I maybe should have offered to host...
15 months

15 months

Today is 15 months since we lost Isaac. 456 days. It feels like a lifetime since I heard his voice. For me, the 21st has always been a harder day. It is a recognition of yet another month that has gone by. I don’t suppose I will always count in months, but for...
Our 2020 Christmas Letter

Our 2020 Christmas Letter

Every year I send out a pile of Christmas cards, but I know I don’t get one to everyone that is a friend online. So I try and share our Christmas letter in a blog post too. This post is coming a little after Christmas only because we spent a week away from MN in...