That is what it says in my medical file. Two words that I suppose most appropriately describe this exact point in our lives.

Along with other “Conditions” that I have had since my online chart began like post-nasal drainage, migraines and deviated nasal septum…now at the top of the list is complicated grieving.

Well over a month ago I had to make an appointment with the medical provider that prescribes me my headache management medicine. It had been awhile since we had met to benchmark where things were so when I needed a recent refill they asked if I could please make an appointment. I scheduled it for right after the vacation that Dominic and I were supposed to go on in Arizona.

So early Monday morning I sat in her office and when the nurse asked if I was there for anything else besides a medication refill discussion, I broke down and told her what happened. That I couldn’t sleep without medicine and I was worried about that long term.

And as they do, they asked me some of the same questions that my son was probably asked when he needed help. How was I dealing with everything, did I have people to support me, was I interested in a referral to a counselor….

Yes this grieving is complicated.

There is a physical component, a mental component and an emotional one….spiritual even. So many layers to this grieving process.

And just like “post-nasal drainage”…something that was an issue years many ago, has become a permanent part of my medical record, so too complicated grieving will remain.

The difference I suppose is that is something I will likely carry with me for the remainder of my life. And that is complicated.