Well we did something we thought we would never do this weekend. We added a puppy to our family.

Introducing our tiniest member Hudson. He is all of 3 pounds and has already captured our hearts. He is an Aussilier, so he is a cross between a mini-Aussie and a King Charles Cavalier. He looks a lot like our larger Aussie Sydney only he will be 1/4th the size at his max weight.

Months and months ago Karlena started asking for a puppy. I basically told her no it wasn’t going to happen. She has always wanted a lap dog and Sydney being close to 60 lbs is no lap dog! But I just wasn’t sold on the idea. Then a few weeks ago we were at one of Elijah’s football games and one of the other families there had this adorable puppy. We ended up talking to the mom and found out that it was a Cavalier. We talked about the breed and the size they grow to and I started to warm up to the idea a little.

We researched the Cavalier breed and stumbled across the Aussilier. Since we already have an Aussie, we were interested and discovered that there was a breeder a few hours away across the border. (Let me also say this…we searched every rescue in SD and MN and were not able to find a small breed dog that we felt would be right for our family. There are absolutely really good reasons to get a dog from a rescue, but this time it wasn’t the right fit for us.)

After we researched the breeder and read all about her puppies we decided to put a small deposit down to be added to her waiting list. I sent her a message on FB asking how long she thought it might be before she would get to our name on the list. I didn’t hear anything for several days. Then on October 21st I got a message from her…

October 21st was 10 months since Isaac died.

It was a hard day for me. Every 21st is and we continue to inch closer and closer to his birthday on November 18th and then Thanksgiving, Christmas. Ugh I just dread it. So 10 months felt hard and sad and honestly sometimes I feel like I am the only one left grieving, so it feels lonely too.

And then this message comes about the waiting list. The woman and I start chatting back and forth and I am telling her about Karlena. That she has been showing us how responsible she can be, how much she loves animals and horses. The woman says she sounds a lot like herself….we probably talked back and forth for 20 minutes or more on messenger.

And then she says she has one puppy available on the waitlist and she would send me a picture.

Dominic wasn’t home at that point and I almost cried seeing him. His coloring was exactly what we were looking for. He was going to stay small, probably close to 15 pounds, and if we wanted him he could be ours.

I showed Dominic the picture and another video she sent of him. We are suckers I know it…but we just knew he needed to be ours. So on Saturday we made the trek to go and pick him up. He was much smaller than I imagined. Maybe it is because Sydney is so big. But Hudson is bitty.

And he is perfect. He has brought SO MUCH joy to our family already. No this puppy doesn’t replace our son, but 10 months into the hardest season we have walked thus far….we needed some joy and he brings it. Of course he is a puppy and he does all the silly puppy things, but he cuddles and follows us everywhere, and he has slept through the night both nights without crying in his kennel. He is such a sweet boy.

We are all smitten. We just didn’t know we could love a puppy this much, but we do. So we are grateful and equally sad too. Because we know Isaac would have just gone nuts over him. But the reality is we probably wouldn’t have him if Isaac were still here. I think there is something to say about walking through grief, especially with your other children…things that were hard no’s before, you soften on. Because we recognize this life if so short and if a puppy can bring joy in the coming years…how do we say no to that?!

So we are crazy dog people, and it all comes at a time when our house is a mess because of a construction project but the timing feels right. Welcome to the family Hudson!