I cleaned my house for hours yesterday. Yes my house was dirty but this was like washing down cabinets/walls kind of cleaning. Today after church and lunch I went outside and started raking up some of the dead leaves in our yard.

I maybe should have offered to host family for Easter. I didn’t. We had steak and potatoes as a family and everyone went off to do their own thing.

My bff said yesterday that sometimes when she works really hard like that it is bc she needs to process something. Maybe she is right. I feel like I am wrestling again…

This is our 2nd Easter without Isaac. In many ways the recognition of Jesus’ sacrifice for us gives me such hope. But I desperately wish Isaac were still here. And so I have to choose what to do with those emotions.

This afternoon I blared worship music through my ear buds and praised the One I trust that has my boy. Worship music has rescued me in this season. This song really hit home today. Maybe if you are in a season of struggle it will minister to you as well.

“You chose the cross, so I choose surrender

You deserve my lifelong praise

You gave Your life, so I give my worship

You deserve my lifelong praise

When the chaos comes my way

I will choose to praise…”