A few weeks ago Dominic, Gabe and I went to Sioux Falls to attend the Augustana Vespers program with my parents and my sister and BIL. We didn’t anticipate how crowded it would be so when we arrived we had to split up to find seats. Our group of three ended up at the end of a row by the aisle. The music was really incredible and as the students were exiting the church, Dominic was cheering those that walked by him, thanking them for a job well done. He later said that never before had music brought out such joy and hope in him. It was an overwhelming experience.

Two years ago tonight Dominic answered the door to what would be two uniformed police officers, there to deliver the worst news any parent should ever receive. “Your son is gone, died by suicide.” Some days I still can’t believe it is our reality. Other days I am painfully aware of your absence. Today is the Winter Solstace….the shortest amount of daylight all year. The darkest of nights. It seems fitting that tonight is the darkest of nights, I can feel it today especially. But it isn’t without hope.

Hebrews 11:1 says “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

Our faith has sustained us these last two years, hope in what we cannot see.  Yes, some joy has returned and marries with our grief. We have confidence that Isaac’s death isn’t the end of the story, we are trusting God for that. We believe His Word to be true. And so, on these days especially that his loss is felt in a deep and heavy way, I press forward in hope.

But in all honesty, I sure wish I could show my faith in God in another way….I miss you every day son.