In 2017 we got new flooring in our kitchen and our dining room. Before they put the new flooring down we went through and wrote a bunch of bible verses on the floor. We literally stand on God’s Word every day in a sense…

A few weeks before Isaac died I took this fun quiz to determine what my “Word of the Year” would be. Mine came back “STAND.” I was surprised by that honestly and wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to make of it. How was that going to look in 2020?

I had no idea that we would be going into a season where standing on the promises of God would be even more crucial. It is not by my strength that I stand but by His. And I recognize that to even get through a day now, I have to stand on His truth.

I have been alone today at the office and I guess it hasn’t really been good for me. Maybe it is just a hard day I don’t know, but I can’t stop from crying. I am sad and angry and there are things that are still unknown and I am frustrated. I have no control over any of this and I see reflections of myself in a mirror and I don’t even recognize who I am anymore. I feel like I have aged years in a matter of weeks.

I guess grief does that to you.

Years ago I had a lasik-like surgery on my eyes (PRK) it was scary and I remember laying in chair, staring up at the ceiling and prayed over and over “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.”

I couldn’t even remember any of the rest of the verse but that one line. But repeating it over and over calmed my spirit for the 10 minutes or so they did their procedure. Today I found this picture and was reminded that I need to stand on what I know. Even if it is just repeating over and over a few simple words that will help calm my anxious, broken heart.

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want, The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want….”

God I can’t do this on my own, it is too much…so I am standing on Your Word this moment. You are my shepherd, I shall not want….